Over the past few weeks, watching the posts of my classmates on Facebook about there placement has been annoying since I myself am jealous that I have not had the same opportunity at in-class experience.
The only bastion of joy has been when I see one of them has been asked to teach math and they are terrified. It's terrible, and perhaps means I am cruel, but I am glad it is them and not me in those cases.
My major in university was social-cultural anthropology. I graduated in 2003, so I am a bit rusty on the finer points, but I could teach a comprehensive class for sure. J/I students don't study anthropology though (unfortunately), so history is my next best forte. English, art, and health and P.E., while not subjects I am versed in, or even subjects I particularly enjoyed in school, are subjects I think I know enough about to teach effectively. Bring them on in my second placement, no sweat!
Science and math are where I fall apart. I only finished the general level of either, both only until grade 10. It was not for a lack of trying: I simply did not grasp the basics to proceed. I avoided all related classes from there on.
I remember a particularly humiliating moment when my inability was revealed. I was in fourth year and had room for an elective. I chose environmental science, a first year course, out of interest. I obviously had not considered what would be required and soon found myself in tutorial sessions desperate for help to pass the class. The teaching assistant, in one such session told me to divide something and I had no calculator. "Just do it long division," she said, puzzled at my look of bafflement. All eyes were on me. "I don't know how," was all I could say. Oh, the horror, the gasps... "You don't know how!?" in the same tone as one might ask, "You eat your own feces?" Thankfully she recovered quickly after seeing the tears in my eyes and kindly took me on as her personal project. I ended up with a 79% in the class. I am so proud of that, still. But I still cannot do long division.
How can I possibly teach math with so little understanding of the subject? How can I instill the basics when i myself do not have them? I do not know.
In anticipation, I have been practicing my basic math skills, and all the while hoping that I will not be the jerk next placement up all night, terrified about the grade 3 math lesson I have to teach the next morning.